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Till Death Do Us Part…

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“I am so hurt deep inside. But, what’s new? Every time and almost most of the time it’s been like this. When you have been taken for granted that’s how it feels like! The pain is that much, when you were so much dedicated that you forgot your own sense of being.
These words from one of my closest one, disturbed and distressed by her marriage, pierces me reverberating and somehow making me reflect,

What makes a relationship tick then?”

If it doesn’t work…it simply doesn’t how much ever you toil for it!
No, I am not a relationship guru neither have perfect relationships. But then if someone, somewhere can get sense out of it, I did be glad to share few simple revelations:

1. “It takes two to tango.”
Any relationship depends upon two people. Is it as simple as it sounds! If you are the one who is toiling harder and sweating it out more than your mate, possibility is it will never work out and you will always be running around the circle in this vicious cycle unless you want to chalk out your own line and break the circle and venture into the thinness of unknown.
Most of the time it’s the fear of unknown or the pragmatism that instinctively sneaks in as what if it works ! The ‘one more chance’ thing keeps one hopeful and aspiring. Mr.Optimist plays a foul card here. Quite precisely, its futile unless there’s a balance to own, toil and persevere from both end sincerely.

2. “You need to be madly in love.”
Sometime it helps. It really do! It helps when you are a tad bit madder then you should be. Matter of heart and love is a mystery in itself and nobody has a say on it from the time you fall in love up untill the time you are growing out of it. Chances are that if you love the person that much, truly, madly and deeply ( no I am not humming the song here) , you might as well not give up and that zest will keep you intact. Being a hopeless romantic, you don’t have to worry about the balance cards here as you choose to be the messiah in the relationship matrix towards the quest of love.

3. “Let bygones be bygones.”
People talk and advice. It is a well known fact that healthy relationships need respect, commitment, loyalty, emotional transparency, romance and the list may continue to fill the next few lines, which makes or breaks the deal. Being creatures of flesh and bone with a soul too, most of us have scars or issues unresolved from prior time and past liaisons.
And when the past comes hunting in the present scenario, It gets evoked and impacts the reality that we are living in today. It’s unfair and perceptive to decree the liabilities of unfinished business into this distinct and separate tie up, especially when all it needs is loving care and tender nurturing. Working with our own insecurities while keeping an open mind but alert heart with the acknowledgment that no two people on this earth are alike, will make the path little less resistant though. Try your best to drop old hang-ups and issues before you trail towards the valley of loveland. Though it’s easier said than done but one’s conscious practice can seal the deal.

4. “The only thing constant”
The proverbial cliche ‘change is constant’ is not just a fancy word. When it comes to relationship, it can play a pivotal role. Falling in love is not the same thing as staying or being in love. It ain’t a piece of cake. Embracing the change that comes along with the alliance and being aware of the fact that sometime it takes consistent effort to keep the ball rolling is the need. Having common ground as a team and considering each other’s feelings and perspectives is recipe for happy partnership. Let your partner influence you; not like one having hold over the other but in a way that it honours and respects both parties interest in totality.

5. “For better or worse”
Love and marriage are totally, totally two seperate entities. Believe it or not, although it is imperative to love your marriage and the one you are married to, but love doesn’t conquer all.
Choose wisely. Family as a crucial social unit is the offspring of marriage. The very basis of society thrives on the simple fact that happy marriages lead to happy family and which in turn contributes to better stable society. Marriage is an institution in itself. Keeping other criterias such as physical attractiveness, comfort and moolah factor aside, attributes for institution like this rather demands intelligence, adaptability, reliability and compatibility for the long term haul. A noted relationship expert once quipped,
“If you choose someone with traits that drive you crazy or make you sad while you’re dating, then those traits will make you crazy or sad for decades to come. So you need to choose well, because most of the time what you see is what you get.”

We all come across junctures in our life, where we feel weak, vulnerable and experience momentary lapse of rationality. These are the moments which makes us aware that we are stronger and enduring enough than we know we are. How we pick ourself up when we fall is the true test of our character. In actuality there’s no right or wrong way to fix relationships as it deals with human attributes which has myriad shades and undertones ingrained in it. But recognising when it’s not working and being honest when it needs a fixing is the first step towards better bonding. Finding your own way that works, keeping in mind the crucial facts and cues that has lead you to where you stand today, is the prerequisite.
The saying goes ‘Marriages are made in heaven.’
The matter of fact is it has to breath, toil, persevere and survive on this earth only. It’s upto you and your partner in unison to build a heaven or create a hell out of it.

 

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5 Truths That Show Why True Beauty Lies Within.

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Based on San Francisco, California, SOULSpot is a conscious media network serving content to Youtube, Facebook, and Conscious Cloud. With ever expanding likers and 1, 21, 270 followers worldwide, the platform stands for the vision of love and expansion of humanity’s well being.
My gladness for being published on their esteemed channel of expression for blogs. While a lot has been said and written about beauty and it’s subjectivity, I intend to keep this article simple for the purpose of giving a positive reinforcement for what we possess and valuing life in itself. My beatitude in sharing the one: http://soulspottv.com/blog/5-truths-that-show-why-true-beauty-lies-within/

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Ask the One

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You smoke your life away
A hazy sooty release
for that instant rapture.
Ask the one
Consumed by incessant spasm
Devoured by fear
Of morbid uncertainty.
Of odds in living and dying.
Clutched with chemo
bidding to outrun Carcinoma.
Gasping for one lease,
Or a stroke of luck maybe!

You spent thousands
to have that illusion
called perfection.
The bridge of your nares(nose)
aligned symmetrical.
Another forsaken attempt
to fill the hollowness
of deep recess
gone astray.
Ask the one
Who lost her face,
The divine impression
of her uniqueness,
days until nineteen.
Perpetrated by cruelty
Unaware and unknown,
An attack acrid –
Harsh pungent reality
she exists and lives in.
Searching for her lost self
With leftover or no face maybe!

You have a portioned bite,
Not much to your fancy
neither upholds your fine taste.
A nibble here and dribble there,
Wide potpourri of savouries
until half picked other wasted.
Food catering to dainty senses.
Ask the one
The one with those
Ever urging growling stomach.
And the one with those
Ever famished wretched eyes.
scanning through the trash cans
every day and most of nights.
Hunting for source of sustenance
shreds, scraps or mouthful
anything will suffice.
Irony of misery in need;
Sharp biting pangs of hunger
even camouflages
filth, muck and sleaze.
And those ever beseeching prayers
amidst the rotting debris,
aching for nothing less than
a morsel of miracle.
Or something edible maybe!

You are as busy as bee.
Hundreds to manage
another fifty to oversee.
Little one came rushing –
overzealous, demanding and gushing.
You term those cry over nagging
and choose to disregard.
And at times uneasy and unwilling
you snort and lash it out.
Those ever seeking
attention and whims
takes a toll on you.
But at what price!
Ask the one
Emotionally barren
And physically depleted.
Feeling duped by nature
arid, abject and dispirited.
Latching to any
tiny ray of glimmer,
Like a drowning man
will clutch at a straw.
Little feet, kisses and snuggle,
A soul as chaste, gentle and raw.
All it Yearns for
A kindred bond and that soulful kinship,
A salvation from days of hardship.
A cackle which may fill
the unspeakable emptiness.
A silly tantrum which will spread
hue to blankness.
Or a chance to be called ‘mum’ maybe!

Life at times become undue and unfair,
Reasons may be many to whine and despair.
Behold and Bethink
The things which you take for granted,
Could be someone’s countless plea and earnest prayer.
Embrace your blessings
Indeed reckon them,
For the ripple it creates
will nourish your wounded soul.
And usher you to the world
of endless possibility out of nowhere.
Or else, there’s always at the least in your life
That One thing to be happy about maybe!